Life Not According to Plan

It's funny how things work out, isn't it? Do you ever stop and consider the moments you find yourself in? Every once in a while I do. These days it seems our blessings are in a great abundance. I think Justin and I have thrown out the "plan" for a while. Outside of planning for our first anniversary, enjoying Thanksgiving turkey, and some major Christmas decorating, we have come to realize our plans are really quite pointless.

Anyone reading this and thinking "What plans could they possibly have made in less than a year!", please excuse me while I stop laughing. You must not know us very well. I think it is safe to assume all married couple make plans. Add a guy and girl who expect to know what to expect and plan surprises and you'll find Justin and I. What can I say? As singles we put off living in a way. As a couple, we haven't quite slowed down. Everything from our first dinner with friends to when do we want to start a family has been a constant conversation and much planning. Life doesn't always fit the plans, does it? Just to give a small glimpse into the changes that have come with our 9 months of marriage...

When we first married, Justin and I worked in 2 different cities. I left home 15 min. before him to go to a job I loved and work with a group of women I loved at a company so great that only Google may top it. On cold mornings Justin warmed my car for me while I grabbed my coat. We dealt with our first serious illness- mine- at the first of the year. We were grateful our first holidays with two families went smoothly & we had our first overnight guests (my brother and sister). Every day Justin traveled the 10 minute drive home to wait for me to arrive anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour later. We were living beneath "Bigfoot" and had to become accustomed to his 10:30-midnight vacuum schedule, which often cut out our tv signal. On a much more serious note, I came home every night frustrated. I was often too worked up to enjoy the evenings, cook dinner, clean house. I did it, but not as well as I wanted to. I was letting outside influences (that I was around daily) effect my life- our life. I felt like I wasn't giving any part of my life, my all. It felt like most of my energy was going towards a losing battle and I began to wonder just why it was that I was fighting to win it anymore.

A few months after we were married, I was staying at home (a decision that had come after much, much, much thought and prayer, but a little before we had originally planned). Our apartment was in constant order. Dinner was always cooked. I knew everything that was going on in our lives. Justin and I woke up together, ate lunch together, and were together right after he got off work. We found a house, dealt with a not-so-great realtor, and moved into our home. We had our first lessons in painting, hammers, and moving. We had our first experiences with unwanted guests, neighbors who bring blueberry muffins to welcome you, and mowing our own grass. I was thankful for the focus I had on our life, but I'll admit I knew not to relax completely.

In this last month, I have been called back to work. I work for the same great company, with another great group, and some very knowledgeable supervisors. Justin and I wake together, we ride together to work, to lunch, and back home at night. We share the chores and have recently found a more efficient way to mow the grass (mainly with Justin mowing the front yard and I the back). We still have our time at home and while I sometimes miss knowing that everything is taken care of, I still feel in the loop with our life.

Truth is, God and I have had some heart to hearts over the last 25 years, but especially within the last few months. Whether missing my family or just not feeling too great, we've talked. I've definitely been put in place a lot lately. Being reminded I don't know it all and my timing and planning means diddly in the bigger picture still bites, but it's a lesson I think our Father knows He will have to remind me from time to time. Truth is, maybe our life isn't all that we expected 9 months ago.

It is better. Yes, life unplanned, yet full of hope is better than all of the plans and definites imaginable.

I could never have planned or anticipated these last few months, let alone this last year. I could never have thought myself taking the steps I've taken or making the decisions I've made. I never really thought I'd find the man to make all of those life changing decisions with (only hoped and prayed for him ALL OF THE TIME). Truth is, God presents his plans for your life and you can't just wait and sit as though nothing lies before you. You have to make decisions; albeit emotional, difficult, even exciting ones. They are decisions and steps you have to take, and you better believe they will effect your plan and build the life God has for you.

I guess overall this is really just a lot of thinking out loud. I hope that our lives are always filled with so much hope. We truly have no idea what may lay ahead, and though we are naturally planners, when it comes to the every day we can only make the best decision we know of and keep moving together. What we hope for and what will be simply isn't in our hands. Tell me, do you find yourself enjoying life unplanned (at least according to your plans)?