Mommyhood (A Few Tips from What I Have Learned So Far)

Just back from our 1st Mother's Day/ 1st Shreveport Trip.

"Pull. Yourself. Together."- Edna {"The Incredibles"} I don't know about you, but I hear this in my head ALOT. I don't think I've ever had to reevaluate my day to day life in such a short span of time as I have these past 9 months. Being a mommy is hard work, and that is all there is to it. With Little Bit asleep (and back up due to arrive in less than an hour) I am going to list some tips I have learned that have helped me keep it together so far.
Be Patient. I know that this one sounds like common sense. Much of the things I have come to realize in my first year of mommyhood do. If you are anything like me, you are well aware that patience will be required during the middle of the night feedings, teething tantrums, and during those sudden bouts of separation anxiety of which nobody warns you. What I didn't realize however was how patient I would have to be in just our day to day living. I have found that in order to keep up with the ever-changing needs of our sweet boy, I have to adjust our routines, schedules, and everyday habits at random. I wish I could tell you "Oh, at week 2, change this..." or "By 4 months you will want to stop...", but I think the best advice that I can give is to be aware of you and your baby's needs and adjust accordingly. More importantly though- be patient with each change. Unfortunately, while my baby has been more than helpful in telling me of his needs and wants, he is not aware of the changes required to meet them. He is also not aware and none too keen when I make such changes. Just because he starts crying and fussing at 9 o'clock at night to be fed and put to sleep, does not actually equal a desire to be fed and put to bed. (What can I say? Apparently Justin and I are fun people.) Every change I make, I have studied, researched, thought about long and hard before putting in place. I'm mentally prepared as much as I can be for any tears or slight heartache that may ensue with the sudden change. Ex. Putting Reagan to bed in his own bed was not only rough for him, but me. Even so, I have a heads up. I know what to look for and expect. Unfortunately, my sweet boy doesn't, and therefore he does not always approve instantly of the decisions I make. It takes time for him to adjust. It doesn't make the new change a failure or even a mistake. I constantly have to remind myself of this. Almost 95% of the time, it is worth it in the end and I find that not only was my judgement call right, but Little Bit is better satisfied.
Keep Your Husband Informed. Yes, I am the mommy. Most details are left to me when it comes to our baby. When it came to trying babyfood, switching from Huggies wipes back to Pampers, and even moving onto solids, Justin simply smiled and nodded in agreement. When it came to moving Reagan into his bed for naps, putting him to bed earlier, teaching Reagan "no", and learning which cries to run to and which ones to be patient through- well, I felt those required conversations. I look at it like this. You don't find a problem at work and go about correcting it all on your own. You have a meeting with your coworkers and discuss the issue, the plan of action, and the problems that will arise if failure occurs. You do this not to be bossy, but to succeed. Of all that I have feared in the last 26 years, there is nothing more scary than the thought of failing as a wife and mother. Including Justin and keeping him up to date, helps keep me from feeling like a failure at either. I have to be fair. The fact that I am able to stay at home puts me at an advantage when it comes to our family. He misses out on roughly 45 hours a week with Reagan. While he is AMAZING at catching up every afternoon and every weekend, it is my job as his wife and Reagan's mommy to make sure he knows it all. It helps me too. By keeping him informed, I end up with a better partner every day. He feels my hurt, my frustration, and my worry at times, and he either supports my decision or helps me find a solution that works for our situation. The best part is, on those really good days (like "things went so well you are almost afraid to breathe for fear of messing it up" days), he is right there with me celebrating and enjoying it too. 
Be Honest with Yourself. I thought I knew myself pretty well before becoming a mommy. In reality, I have had to reevaluate my priorities and take note of the personal foundation that makes me tick. I have found some of what I considered strengths to be weaknesses in my new role, and I have found skills and character traits that I didn't even realize I had. Some things I found simply to be more important and helpful to me than I had originally realized. One thing I have had to accept (and that has most definitely helped me to keep my sanity) is that I am a planner, a note-taker, a scheduler. Pen and paper are my best friend. Oh, and don't even get me started on to-do lists. *long sigh* With this acceptance I bought my new planner. I don't even want to think for how long my brain would run on "frazzled" without it. My point is- I have had to learn to stop and rethink the direction I am heading and the decisions I am making. It is normal and okay. The mommy world is full of women who are more than happy to tell you where you are failing and what you should think. Better that I stop and decide for myself than to listen to everyone else's voice. 
Write Down Everything You Find Important. So this one works off of the last tip a little bit. Even if planners have never been your thing, it may not hurt to have one, or at least to have a notepad. I chose the Simplified Planner. It is pretty- something I appreciate on days when I have nails that have not been filed or painted in months and my tshirt has what appears to be baby oatmeal splatter-dried across it. It is durable- a definite plus when my 9 month old thinks everything must be touched and explored. It is my brain on paper- enough said. While I dream of buying a weekly planner in the future so that I can enjoy both the book binding and the pretty printed covers Emily Ley promises for next year, my daily planner has worked best for so many reasons. While I don't have my day planned hour by hour, I use that little section to keep track of Little Bit. When he nurses, when he naps, what he eats and when he ate it...it is all there. I LOVE this feature. It has helped me tremendously in taking note of Reagan's habits. Babies actually do fall on a schedule all their own. I thought this was crazy and was to the point of tears at one point because every book and expert assured me he had one and I just needed to plan around it. Sure enough, when I started writing it all in every day, I realized my seemingly emotional baby was a pretty smooth-operating machine. Even now, yes, we have a schedule, but our daily routine typically follows his ques. Keeping track of this info has also helped calm any worries I ever have about Reagan eating enough. At first I worried if he nursed often enough. Then I worried he wasn't eating enough baby food. With solids now in the picture, I feel so much better when doubt creeps up to be able to look back on just what exactly I have been feeding him. It sounds crazy, I'm sure, but our days go by in a blur. Taking five minutes when needed to review what life has actually been like for the last few days or weeks takes a huge weight off of my shoulders. I'm also able to log when he learns a new skill (ex. crawling) or what projects I have managed to complete. It's remembering the little things that mean so much.
I hope this helps another mommy / mommy-to-be out there somewhere. Justin is home now and Little Bit is awake, so I had better say goodbye for now before they raid the office. Anyone else have any tips or thoughts they would like to share? Please leave them in the comments below! Happy Almost-the-Weekend!

Nine Month Birthday!

Sweet Boy, you are officially 9 months old! You are such a big boy.  You have learned to do so much this past month. You have started giving hugs and kisses, but you are very particular who you give them to. You have stopped smacking Mommy in the face to wake her up in the morning, and have started giving me kisses and hugs instead. It is the sweetest thing ever. You are so proud of yourself, too. You give me the biggest smile and laugh at yourself when you do it.  You have started giving Mommy high-fives. So far you will only do it with me, but it has taken months of practicing for you to start this so I am perfectly fine with it. You always hesitate, as if you think it is a little silly, but then you give me a silly smile and do it for me.  While you have been drinking out of a sippy cup for the last couple of months, you now prefer to drink out of a straw as much as possible. Mommy and Daddy are so surprised, but it is amazing to watch our big boy drink his water from his straws now. When Mommy shares her water and lemonade with you, you always try to take off with my cup. I have to be careful. You have started practicing standing up alone. You prefer to practice by yourself, but you always look for us with a big smile afterwards. When you stand for what you think is too long, you get nervous and sit down. So far you can stand for a good 30 seconds without wobbling at all.  Little Bit, you use EVERYTHING to pull yourself upright. We always have our eyes on you. You like to pull yourself up and walk around the room holding onto the furniture. You have even taken a special interest to the tray Mommy keeps on the coffee table.  You have learned how to open and close the bedroom doors. It makes you laugh to try to shut them as hard as you can. You recently learned how to put this into practice with the cabinet doors as well. Thankfully you haven't slammed any of them (yet), but I think this is only because you like looking at everything inside.  Your top 2 teeth finally came in after giving you months of trouble. You waited no time at all in putting them straight to work. You don't care for your baby food as much anymore. You prefer solid food much more. If Mommy and Daddy stop to get something to eat, or if we sit down to eat at home, you immediately start trying to take it from us. You know what food is and you seem to love every bit of it! You are wanting to spend even more time with Mommy and Daddy than usual these past couple of weeks. You do not like for us to put you down until you are ready, and you like to have us within your sight at all times. That said, you are doing so much better at sleeping in your room now. You rarely cry anymore, and sometimes you only fuss to let us know you aren't happy about it. Aunt Ariel bought you a ball a few months ago, and you have finally started playing with it with us. In fact, it seems to be your favorite toy these days. You love picking it up and throwing it to us. Inevitably you become so tickled with yourself that you have to crawl over closer to us and give us hugs and kisses.  Daddy and Mommy took you to Shreveport for the first time last Saturday. We took you to the duck pond where Juju and Pops used to take Mommy when I was little (and where they grew up playing too). You loved it- especially the swing. We weren't sure how you would like it, but you started laughing you were having so much fun. We can not wait to take you again. Little Bit, you are growing so fast. Mommy and Daddy don't know what you will do next. You are so full of surprises. You make us smile and laugh, and feel like the most special people in the world. Truthfully though, we think the same of you. We are so blessed to have you and we could not be happier. We are so proud of you, Angel Baby. You are truly amazing. Mommy and Daddy love you, Reagan.