Funny Discussions (Year 1)

October 19, 2014

So before settling onto the blogging futon tonight, Justin and I braved the grocery store. Okay, so it was not that bad. Among our many achievements we tagged in our first year of marriage, our battle plan for grocery shopping is perhaps one of our proudest. First, I not only make the grocery list, but I list the items exactly as they are found in the store. (Ex. Produce, Fruit, Chips, Meat, Dairy, Frozen, etc.) Second, we always go after dinner. (Less foot traffic this way) Third, tell the bagger we will bring the buggy back in so he will not follow us out in awkward conversation. Yep, we are a happy, preplanning couple in this household. :)

With such routines, there does bring a level of comfort I've noticed. Perhaps too much comfort. Tonight as we reached the final item on the list, a disagreement broke out between us. Oh, it wasn't a fight per say, merely the same argument we have shared since the first weeks of our marriage. What is it that could possibly be so important you might ask. Well, please let me tell you. Crest or Colgate. Yes, indeed, while the rest of our country sets out to vote in less than a week on our states speakers and additional amendments, you can bet that we will be in silent agreement on our votes for candidates, but still in strong disagreement of the toothpaste that will ultimately reign in our home. As we stood taking turns throwing facts back and forth to one another, each of us staring longingly at the preference of his and her choice, a bagger who was no more than 16 years old quickly walked passed us. It wasn't until that moment that I realized just what a stranger may have thought of our conversation- a conversation that we have had who knows how many times in the last year. As we unloaded the buggy a couple of minutes later, I couldn't help but consider what had just passed. This is life for us. We had finished our debate and laughed our way to the counter with a temporary choice in the buggy, and no final decision actually made. I also stopped to consider how many other unimportant, and yet vital, disagreements have come into our conversations this last year. Here are the top 10 that we can think of now...  (Pictures provided by husband from our 1st Anniversary!)

1. Nike or Anything Other than Nike- Justin swears by Nike. Anything else is less than worthy of being worn in our family. I believe it was his grandmother who said it perfectly a couple of months ago when she told me "Justin would think he were the mistreated stepchild if he were given anything but Nikes to wear." No joke, ladies. He knows those shoes like I know my favorite Bath and Body Works scents.

Someone was getting silly with the camera...

2. Curly Fries or Tator Tots- Oh, yeah, the first time we decide to treat ourselves to frozen potatoes and it takes 10 seconds for mayhem to occur. Apparently, men can care nothing for potatoes when you serve them hot from the pan, but if you dare to serve them next to a burger in a few weeks the situation becomes critical. (In the end, the sales prices won out and we both got what we wanted.)

3. How to Make Up the Bed- I can be a bit...what's the word...anal when it comes to some things. It is amazing the habits you can have and not realize until you are married. For instance, after I have the covers in place and the pillows stacked neatly on the bed, apparently I make one final venture to each side to straighten the lengths of the comforter on each side. Poor thing thought I didn't know he knew how to make up a bed. Needless to say, I don't do that anymore...I don't think anyway. Justin?

I'm catching on to someone being silly with the camera...

4. How to Swallow a Pill- According to my husband, you have to tilt your head back with a large gulp of water and no one can watch you. Oh, and no conversation with him (or he will choke). For me, you put the pill in your mouth, take a sip of water, and swallow. You can watch, but wouldn't that be boring? :)

5. To Be or Not To Be Animated- Whether or not to watch a favorite childhood cartoon movie or a "real people" movie during dinner has come up only about 500 times or so.

6. Fan in the Bedroom, Anyone?- Why the last homeowners removed the fan from the master bedroom in the south (correction, the most humid state in the south perhaps) is beyond my comprehension. To my husband, this is great since fans are loud and accident-prone. To me, somebody better be installing one soon or I'm waking him up to suffocate with me during the night in the heat. (We settled and bought a fan stand until we feel more confident making electrical installations.)

7. Long Sleeves in Winter- This was actually our first disagreement ever. Crazy? We think so. Nevertheless, last November I went to work upset over it one day. The problem was corrected by lunch though and now I am happy to say we both remind each other to grab our jackets when it gets chilly outside.

8. No Lizards in the House- About a month ago, I walked into the living room to find a baby lizard wriggling by the front door. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Justin!

Justin: Yeah, Love?

Me: COME HERE QUICK. Like RUN.

Justin: Why?

Me: LIZARD. It needs to go. It needs to go NOW.

Justin: I'm putting up the dishes. Would you rather I put these up or get rid of the lizard?

I can't quite describe the look I gave my husband after that. All I know is that a smile broke across his face awfully fast and the lizard was caught and removed quickly. I am also never going to live that moment of panic down.

9. Clean Your Plate- So I grew up with the knowledge that you finished everything Mommy put on your plate. It wasn't hard (unless it was wild rice- Yuck!), but nevertheless I do the same today. About a week ago, Justin informed me that when we go to dinner at his grandparents house such is not the case. That may have been nice to know before I finished the 3 enchiladas, refried beans, and Mexican cornbread Ma had placed on my plate. It was delicious, but 2 hour hours late I was certain that a Sonic sundae was not what I wanted to finish the night. I haven't quite figured out how to handle this situation because I can't let good food go to waste, but at the same time I'm told more may be added to my plate in the future if I keep this up. *Prayers are welcomed.*

10. Holmes Inspection or Rehab Addict- Netflix started this one. While both of us enjoy these shows, Justin has become a Holmes Inspector apprentice of sorts. (I mean, he truly intended to caulk around our kitchen cabinets and seal our bathtub at 9:30 the other night.) I, on the other hand, had to see how Nicole would be refinishing the kitchen in her 1916 home remodel. Solution to this one has been semi-settled though- Holmes on weekends and Rehab on weeknights!

Awww...finally a happy, sweet picture to put in the album. Still glad to catch some fun on camera, though! :)

I am sure some people may read this and say "Seriously?", but come on surely you and your loved ones have some awfully amusing discussions. I mean life can be pretty funny without trying. I may be sneaking Crest into our buggy from now until my dying days, but I wouldn't have it any other way. As long as he still pushes the buggy, and threatens to caulk at midnight, and tries to compromise his way into leaving lizards in the house, and considers frozen potato selections life or death, I will love this man for as long as I live. Truth is, we agree when it counts most. Somehow or another, without laughing or bribing or trickery, when push comes to shove and we have serious decisions to make that can set the path for our future together we always find a way to agree and stand by one another. So, tell me, what funny battles do you catch yourself dueling over these days? :)

P.S. Long live Crest!

One Year!

I know that this post will be just a couple of days early, but with Justin playing his game at the moment I find it is probably best to fit in some blogging time for me! Okay, y'all, this is exciting. Are you ready? Are you sure? Don't spill your cider over this or anything. Okay...if you are sure...the news is......

This Sunday will be our first wedding anniversary!!!!!

See that bouquet? Justin handmade each rose from book paper 7 months before. He gave them to me the first time he told me he loved me. Needless to say, my bouquet was a no-brainer.

Sorry, probably wasn't the excitement I was building you up for, huh? Even so, it is really exciting- just mainly for Justin and I though, I know. :)

My way of saying it/without saying it too early! I surprised him at work with a Caramel Apple Spice. I kept the sleeve on it, knowing he would see my writing peaking out from beneath. He found it 5 minutes after I drove away, lol. Not as crafty as the bouquet he gave me the next day, but he did take this picture to save for later I found out.

Y'all I just don't even know where to start. This past year...this past year has been incredible. It has been so full. I don't feel as though I let life pass me by for once. I feel instead as though for the first time (in a really long time) I lived every day. And, no, it wasn't because I got my fairytale wedding. I mean it was a beautiful wedding in my mind, but to me it was real. It was personal and there wasn't a single item there that wasn't touched by Justin and my family, or a single memory made that I regret because of its imperfection. I digress. Back to my point...

Down here, you can't count on fall arriving in time. The air was crisp and cool, but real fall leaves were in short supply. We used these fake leaves in place of birdseed.

I have loved every day- even the snottiest, miserablist, stormiest ones. (Which one of those does not exist in the human dictionary? :)) I have loved them because they were all filled with purpose. They didn't (even the relaxing, lazy ones) fill wasted. They felt- for lack of a better adjective- right.

Probably one of the few couples in existence that took 10 pictures total on their honeymoon. We were too busy relaxing in pajamas and cooking up meals for the first time in our cabin. It was SO beautiful there! 

I have learned so much with Justin. I have learned to laugh without regret and to talk even whenever it is really, stinking hard. I have come to know the pleasure of random hugs, and what it feels like to have someone love you so much that he is crazy enough to think you are beautiful even when your makeup is gone and your hair is a rats nest and you still have morning breath. (Yep, the last one is "EW!", but sweet in its on married kind of way.)

What can I say...except that I am an amazing Car Passenger Artist! Seriously, Love, you should just retire and let me make a career out of my skills. :) Honestly, I was trying to stay awake and it is a long, LONG ride back from Georgia. Will and Nicholas are my family's dogs that Justin hates by the way. They feel the same, so all is good.  

I have come to know that my way is not always the only way to do something, let alone always the right way. (To Rielle and Baby- I am already anticipating your I told you so's, so why bother to send them sweet, loving brother and sister that you both are. :)) I have come to appreciate that at least one of us enjoys the grocery store. (Justin truly has made this one so much more entertaining). I have found comfort in the little things- like the squeeze of a hand to alert each other to a shocking sight or crazy conversation. (You know the times when "Oh my gosh! No she didn't!" just doesn't fit appropriately into the situation.)

Our first trip to Natchitoches together! Christmas lights!!

Our first trip to Marshall, Texas together! More Christmas lights!!!!

I have found comfort in kicking off the comforter in the middle of the night (which I truly hate to do) for the sake of keeping safely wrapped in my husband's arms. I have even found that Transformers G1 cartoon episodes are NOT the safest thing to have playing while working on a blog. I thought I would be so disinterested that I could type or paint or whatever I wanted to do, but let me tell you, one too many episodes of accidentally glancing up to find Optimus Prime locked in magnetized chains or on the brink of death has made me nearly as bad as my husband with that show. (He couldn't make it easy on me and have been a Tiny Toons addict like me, could he? *sigh*) Basically, Megatron is a Mega-distraction.

Our first Christmas Eve! New Christmas pajamas!!!

Justin has proven to be a truly loving husband and I do not doubt that I have married a good man. He may not be the most talkative person in the world around strangers, and we all know my family is still committed to helping him with his speech in fluent sarcasm, but he talks to me. He is sincere and kind and honest nearly to a fault. He is a wonderful nurse. I mean who else's husband runs willingly to the store for frozen treats when they feel bad? (He brought back my favorite ice cream last time, and it was not on the list.) He does everything he can to make me feel better, including going all fitness-know-it-all on me when I have a leg cramp. I've always had problems with them, but within the last year I've enjoyed at least 3 or 4 that had me curled up in a ball crying. That is how I came to learn that my husband can remain perfectly calm and take control of nasty situations, especially the ones where I am laying thinking of how embarrassing it would be to die of a leg cramp and praying it isn't possible. 

1st time at the Duck Pond together!

He is there for me and looks after me without me coaxing or begging for him to care. When he makes a promise he keeps it, and he is pretty good at coming up with random, little fun things to do together- like Taco Bell at midnight or walks in the park before a ride with banana snocones and good music.

One of many, many banana snocones with cream consumed this year. There was more to this one, but...

Oh, and have I mentioned he works hard for us, and he does it without complaint. He is good at what he does- very good. I am proud of him. Not only for the work, or the ice cream, or the removal of random lizards that break into our home (another story), but because of his heart. My husband has a good heart. When he loves someone, or something, he loves them unconditionally. He may not always like them, but even if he doesn't, he takes it personally. He is more apt to feel responsible for any disappointment he may feel than to give them their fair share of the responsibility. (An admirable trait that I lack to be honest.) When he knows something is important to someone else, he does all he can to respect that and even help if he can. When he makes a promise, he keeps it because he knows someone is counting on him. Justin is a good husband.

In the past year, we have made our mistakes. We have made some pretty exciting milestones. We have laughed and cried and fallen asleep more than once on the couch. Everything, whether good or bad, though has been together.

Playing with my new phone!

I love you, Justin. Thank you for an amazing first year. I am looking forward to many, many, MANY more! Happy 1 Year, Love! 

A Season of Challenge

I am officially a terrible blogger. I have a million excuses but none of them are really worth hearing. So, please, just know that I would accept whatever punishment we bloggers have for one of our own who neglects their favorite writing home for some time. All I can sat is that this past month has been somewhat of a challenge for Justin and I. In many ways, it has been a painful experience that neither of us was quite prepared for, and it has at times felt as though there was no way through it. Yet, even through much of the craziness (which is the simplest way to define it) it has been not only a great eye-opener, but perhaps one of our greatest challenges. Justin and I have had to come to terms with the fact that is has impacted so much of our life in the last year- each other, our relationship with our family, our marriage, our future. Nothing seems untouched by it; even if it has had no more affect than to make us more appreciative of all that is good in our life.

When I was single, I thought my silence & my coolness towards my struggles was simply my independence and therefore my strength. After each challenge, I would chalk it up to a great defeat; retelling it years later to friends over a bowl of soup and a sandwich at Newks. It all seemed like such a badge of honor then. Oh, how much I knew. How ready I was to take on the world and all those in it. How I would protect those I loved. *How very blind my pride made me.*

Marriage offers no such luxuries as coolness and silence. Everything about you is in the open. Every secret inevitably comes out. Moments I most disliked in my past (my very mistakes) that I deemed of no use to anyone else in the future, I find myself opening up about now. I struggle to explain the childishness in it, or the phase that it passed with, or just the simple poor judgment on my part. Nevertheless, with a heavy heart I have told my husband more about myself than I ever thought I would.

My struggles in the past seem hardly worth speaking of anymore. Instead, I am more disappointed by how much I actually did let them affect me than I let on. This never-relenting battle Justin and I have been fighting, strangely, is not so completely new to me- how I am having to face it is though.

I think so much of my family. I thought I knew all that they had taught me, but I was thoroughly mistaken. The frustration and the hurt that fills me at times is the facts of right and wrong. Whatever craziness breached our happy little family at times, somehow my parents' voices always spoke over them. When we told each other that we loved each other, we meant it. There were no strings attached. There was no debt to be paid. A hug was loving- whether it be as a goodbye, a goodnight, a hello, or a reminder after disappointment. When we were angry with one another, it never meant for long. Time passed and we always forgave one another. When one of us was incredibly stupid, you always had someone there to remind you of your true capabilities. Hot dinners at night, quotable lines from movies, laughter, and amiable silence are all just the tip of the iceberg when explaining the love my family holds.

The struggle is not quite over yet, but this weekend was the first time we seemed able to catch our breath in a while. First, my parents came to visit. (We are rabbit-sitting at the moment.) Seeing them, and, yes, even spilling the story of our craziness quickly helped because in the end I was still welcomed with hugs and friendly smiles and the promise that they will never change. Everything they said in the past, they mean now. It's a constant which I believe I have always been very dependent. Then, we visited my husband's daddy at his house. It was our first visit and it was more exciting, and perhaps more needed, than either of us had at first thought. The visit was filled with nothing but friendly conversation and a feeling of family that I think we have both very much needed reminding of. Sunday, while Justin moved offices and went to a last minute meeting, I went to visit my adoptive grandparents (I inherited them with marriage). I shared in a cup of coffee and nonstop conversation. It was again the same feeling.  

This challenge of ours, struggle as we might, has done the opposite of what its creator intended. It has brought us closer together. What has been and is still intended to break us apart, has placed us more firmly in love. Our future will, as all lives are, be affected by pain at times, but hopefully when all is said and done and we are old and gray it will have been marked by the love that filled it more than anything else.

To any other newlyweds who might be finding that "honeymoons phases" are the stuff of fairytales and that not all wish you as well as they ought, cling tightly to the love you hold for one another. No matter how angry you may be with each other or how distant your difficulties may make you feel at times, do not give up or feel as though it has finalized your future. Challenges come and go, but love must always remain. The last year has not been a complete cake walk for Justin and I, and especially within the last week we have felt it the most. Even so, I love him, and because I love him I listen to him, I trust him, and I would sooner fight alongside him in this life against whatever troubles are to come than with anyone else. I love him, and therefore I know he is the one God intended me to live this life, with all of its moments, with.

One of my favorite quotes-

"But life is a battle; may we all be enabled to fight it well."- Charlotte Bronte

Now I am off to catch up with some of you my blogging friends. I can not wait to see how you and yours have been welcoming in the fall season!