Real Love

Across the street, in a bright blue house, there lives a family. They moved in about a month after we did. While we immediately became accustomed to their older son's 4:00 basketball games at their grandparents home (next door), it is their other outdoor activities that has caught our attention. I know, we sound crazy right about now, but let me explain.

They have a little boy- an adorable, little boy with a bowl-cut haircut and chubby little arms and legs that can not be more than 3 years old. I fell in love the first time I saw him attempt to run away with his older brother's basketball. Poor thing, his brother yelled and ordered him to drop it. He was on the run too, but coming to the end of the driveway he realized he had hit a dead end. With as much defiance as he could muster, he dropped threw the ball as hard as his little arms could manage without falling forward. As his brother rushed to recapture his claim, the little boy heaved a heavy sigh and stormed off into the house. I love when he wanders into our yard while visiting his grandparents. I think it's adorable that his grandparents bought him his own basketball goal. My husband, while equally amused, is more interested in studying their dad.

Y'all, it is adorable. My husband is in awe of our neighbor. He thinks he is "the coolest dad". His eyes light up when the whole family comes out to play baseball in the 12x12 yard. He smiles when the dad knocks brushes past his toddler to steal base. He points out when the dad picks his toddler up for the winning shot in basketball. Oh, and the day the dad rode in a little red wagon attached to a mini-four wheeler with his toddler driving...let's just say it is on my husband's bucket list now. :)

Daddy and me a long, long, LONG time ago!

While I think of my parents as the example of what parents ought to be, I'm sorry to say that my husband does not have the same gift. I wish...no, I don't wish that I could understand why some parents can be as they are. I don't understand how someone can need you so much and be so helpless, that you can be their only hope, and you can overlook them. How can you miss their want? How can you miss the simplest things? Not just miss it. How can you see it and ignore it? How you refuse a child a hug or a goodnight kiss? How can you want to push them away or purposely break their hearts?

I never doubted that I was loved. I never truly wanted for anything. As a child I am sure there was a toy or two that I thought I could not be happy until I had it for myself, but what child doesn't think that from time to time. Truth is, my happiness rested on no toy. The only time I was ever upset was when I was in trouble. Feeling as though I had let my parents down bothered me more than anything. The fear that what I had done was unforgiveable scared me more. Yet it never failed. Daddy would often hug me immediately afterwards. That in itself hurt more than the punishment because it reminded me that I had hurt someone who loved me. My mother would soon start to play or talk with me after my punishment was over though. Nothing, nothing ever appeared unforgiveable to them, even when what I did hurt them the most. They never gave up on me or pushed me away. They always talked to me. No matter if they received the responses they wanted so much to hear from me, they never stopped talking. They never stopped telling me how important my feelings, my thoughts, my wants were. They always wanted things clear between us. It was perhaps the thing I deprived them the most of, though it was no fault of their own. It was mine. Even so, I know without any doubt that I have the most wonderful parents- the most loving and caring parents. My parents gifted me with happiness. They dried tears, taught me to ride a bike, played barbies, and gave me siblings to play with. They gave us a home full of love that was safe and happy. They gave me the gift to choose- to make my own decisions & to accept my own mistakes. They gave me the gift of responsibility and the pride of a job well done. They gave me love- real love.

I have braces, so I'm guessing 16, 11, 6. This was actually one of the few times they got me in the pool!

When you marry the person you love, you want to create all of these new memories. A lot of memories that you love you think you can create again and relive it from now on with your husband or wife. My husband missed out on so much; little things like Disney movies, or slice and bake cookies, or dessert for dinner and dinner for dessert, or kids meals. I can do all of these things with him. We can play games and my sister and brother seem more than happy to welcome him into sister/brotherly teasing and taunting. My mother can bake her family-famous meals and welcome him with hugs. Daddy can open up a little more each time and joke like we all know he does and even offer bits of advice and encouragement when he sees the chance. What I can't do though is give him back what he missed. I can't keep him from knowing the feelings that haunt him of being pushed away or left behind. I can't replace any of it and it is one of the hardest things I have ever had to know because there is an unfairness to it all. I know life is not fair, but when you are brought up to stick up for those who can't stick up for themselves, to love unconditionally, and to treasure memories and make your own, and to share every happiness you know...it makes it a hard fact to accept. It makes me miss my family more and it makes me appreciate them more than I thought I did before.

I have hope though. One day we might have children and the combination of my want to give what I was given and my husband's want to give what he wanted, our children will never go unloved. Actually, in between us, my parents, my sister, my brother, and his grandparents they will certainly always know love. :) I just wish everyone could know what I have enjoyed my entire life.

P.S. If you never see a picture of my mother on here, I promise she exist. She knows where I live though and I know she'd beat my adult butt if I posted her picture. That said, my sister and I look just like her! :)