Adventures in the Toddler Bed (Reagan Edition)

After a year of hitting milestones left and right, I feel like the last few months have just been a whirlwind of new skills for this family. Something I have greatly enjoyed following Reagan's 1st birthday is that I no longer feel tied to a milestone calendar. I breathe a little easier and just follow his lead; granted this means never knowing when or where he is going to take us. Oftentimes, I am so wrapped up in the moment, I don't even notice how big a deal some things are or how quickly he is growing up. This current step has hit me hard though- moving up to a toddler bed. 

*Note* His favorite bear is only ever allowed to sleep in his bed during naptime when I can watch him better.

First, let me just note that the decision to purchase a toddler bed was not an easy one. While I think they are precious, I honestly wasn't sold on the idea of moving forward in that direction. Seeing as we plan to update Reagan's room from nursery to big boy room at the start of next year, Justin and I had anticipated buying his twin bed at that point. Going from crib to bed when he is a bit older (closer to 2 1/2 years old) was our hope. True to form however, our son couldn't care less for our plans. Three weeks ago, after taking him from his crib and tidying the toys from his floor, I turned around to see my son lunging himself back into his crib. It seems he thought his toy chest the perfect tool and his strength just enough to push himself back over the end of the bed. As I left the room to heat up his lunch, I wondered how long it would take him to consider reversing his new skill to escape his crib. The answer- 2 minutes. It took my son all of 2 minutes to desert his toys and try his hand at climbing out. The unfortunate part of course, is that the toy chest and the floor are not as soft and inviting of a landing for toddler missteps. While I would like to say his rough landing and the tears he shed were a lesson learned, I know him better than that. One failed attempt does not deter future attempts. It simply means he made a small miscalculation somewhere. He will always try again, and again, and again...

This is the one we chose. You can find it here on Amazon.

While moving the toy chest did occur to me, Reagan is a tad too persistent for me. Now that he knew he could crawl out, I knew he would just make-do with or without it. Although he is tall for his age, Justin and I didn't feel comfortable moving him to a twin bed just yet. Since we still have the rest of the year to consider, and a toddler bed uses a crib mattress that we shouldn't need for some time yet, we opted to purchase a toddler bed for Little Bit. I was also able to order ours from Amazon in a color that both matches his nursery and his future big boy room. With the order placed, there were only two things left to do- prepare and pray.  Is the room ready? We had already baby-proofed the nursery before Reagan was born, but I did take a second look over the room. I moved a memory box from a low shelf to a safer place in his closet. I double checked all outlets were covered. The cords to all the blinds are still high enough that he cannot reach them, so there was nothing to be done there.  Who are we dealing with? In preparing, Justin and I talked a lot about who our little boy is as a person. Reagan is very independent. He likes to do what we do, and often the way we do it. He also likes routine and stability. Changes in the past haven't been met with too many tears (at least not for too long).  What's the worst that could happen? While Little Bit may be independent and relatively reasonable, he is also a toddler and therefore a person. With a newfound bit of freedom, comes the obvious realization that he may just take advantage of it. We confronted the thought that he may take the ease of getting in and out of his new bed too far and attempt 100 trips out of the bed every 5 minutes. We knew that with the ability to come and go as he pleased, he may attempt to leave his room rather than go to sleep. We knew our late mornings may be coming to an end. We knew we might be receiving some rude awakenings throughout the night either by him standing by our side of the bed staring or exploring in another room. We knew transitioning him from his crib to his toddler was not the only thing we were addressing here. We even knew that there was a slight chance that his claim to his baby bed may be stronger than we realized, and he might reject the toddler bed all together.  How committed are we?  While we were excited to take this new step towards "big boyhood" with our sweet boy, we knew it would be no less a test for Justin and I as his parents. It wasn't just going to be about getting him to accept his new bed by sleeping in it. This would come with the usual tests of our resolve. Would we cave to a week (or perhaps weeks) of poor sleep? Would we let him take water to bed when he never has before? Would we continue closing his door, or would we begin leaving the door open. Leaving the door open allowed us freedom to move about while he slept, and also ensured he would not be leaving his room throughout the night. That said, it also provided him a great deal of privacy; privacy which he might realize could be used to his advantage (aka trouble). Opening his door, meant attempting to be a little more stealth while he sleeps. It meant providing him the ease to move not only in and out of his bed at any given hour, but in and out of rooms. It meant likely sending him to bed repeatedly, and risking a greater mess if he ever decided on a midnight exploration. That said, opening his door meant making our presence more known. It meant the chances of hearing him and seeing him and keeping an eye on his whereabouts might be slightly easier and less dependent on the baby monitor (which only catches so much). At some point, the freedom to come and go from his room would need to be addressed. The question was, was this the right time.  Justin and I realized we had to be fully committed. Like with everything else, we were going to have to take the bad with the good. We had to acknowledge that we could not foresee every scenario, but could only commit to doing what was necessary (whatever the heck that may be). We wanted this big step to be exciting for him and for him to enjoy this new bit of freedom. We also wanted him to understand that the rules had not changed and Mommy and Daddy were still in charge.  While I had big hopes that we would make the switch during the weekend so Justin could loose sleep with me, I remembered a trick from last year. When we began transitioning him from cosleeping in our bed to sleeping in his crib, I decided to introduce him to his crib during naptimes. It seemed kinder to me to let him adjust to sleeping during the daytime for a shorter amount of time in his new space, rather than going all in at night. He complained of course, but he adjusted and it was easier on me to help him adjust during the daytime. Obviously, I wasn't going to have the same timeline as I had before, but he is older now so I hoped I wouldn't need it. I talked the toddler bed up as much as possible. In the four days it took to arrive, Reagan was checking the mail every day with me, and looking at his bed on my computer screen every now and then. Justin put it together the night that it came in, so it was up and waiting in our living room the next morning. I had honestly forgotten until I heard Reagan yell "Bed! My bed!" when he saw it the next day.  After breakfast, I had him help me take apart his crib and move the pieces into the office. Justin and I decided we would be leaving his bedroom door open (might as well rip the bandaid off and get him used to the fact that leaving his room is not an option). That said, we settled on closing the door only so much, leaving it open just enough that we can check in, but not so much that he has every distraction from the rest of the house. With our bathroom right beside his bedroom though, it didn't seem smart to leave his bed in the same spot where it would have full view of the light turning on and off throughout the days and nights. With a little maneuvering, I found a new spot for his new bed. Reagan was ecstatic from what I could tell. He wanted to sit in it immediately, and was more than happy to feel it with his bo-bo's (his stuffed animals). Our usual routine is lunch, diaper change, and nap. I kept the routine the same. 

As with every slumber party we ever went to, it was all fun and games until the lights went out. Still, Reagan did so well. He did leave the room a few times. I wasn't angry or frustrated. I just cheerfully walked him back to his bed, tucked him in, and reiterated what we were doing again. Let's go back to bed. It's time to take your nap. Night, Night. This was his first time, so I didn't want him to be discouraged with the idea that he could do this "wrong" or that the "big boy" bed was harder than his crib. After opening his curtains a bit more, I left the room and he settled in. Two hours later, he woke up happy from his nap. He took his time getting up, walked quietly out of his room, and peeked his head into the living room to tell me hi. I was so proud! That night, we followed the same routine. He did get up about 20 times to tell us hi, check in on us, make sure we were still doing good. You know... what babies do. Each time, Justin and I stayed cheerful and walked him back to bed. Finally, he decided life after he goes to bed didn't seem to be the party he imagined, and stayed in bed. (We saved our usual bowls of cereal for after he went to sleep. ;)) He did wake up in the middle of the night. I could hear him walk into our room, and fully anticipated for him to walk to my side. Funnily enough, he went to Justin. I had no idea until Justin turned to me fully awake and told me that our son was staring at him. I got up and walked to the other side of the bed. Reagan's bottom lip poked out, but I kept smiling and he took my hand knowingly to follow me. I checked his diaper to be sure there hadn't been a mishap to wake him up, and when all was clear I quietly put him back to bed. He even reminded me to pull the door to behind me. I could hear him fighting to get comfortable and hitting his head against the headboard in the process, so I did opt to sneak back in and loan him one of our thinner decorative pillows. (We had a toddler pillow ordered, but it was a day late.) He went straight to sleep, and didn't wake up until Justin's alarm went off the next day. 

"Seriously, Mommy, what do I do again?"

We are on our 2nd week of life in his toddler bed and not much has changed. He does still attempt to get up initially. While the first few days I was sugary-sweet about this, we agreed by the third day he knew full well that he was safe in his new bed and therefore he needed to understand this was not okay. Thanks to our handy dandy baby monitor, I can usually catch him trying to leave the bed before those chunky little feet touch the actual floor. So far I have only had to threaten to shut his door once- a punishment he has made clear is too much for him to dare. We do still walk him back to bed, but only twice. After that, we have learned it is all a power play for him and he just wants to see if he can make us follow. After that second hand-held return, it becomes firm, clear directions to get back in the bed. So far, he has not ventured past his room. He doesn't like the dark, so I am assuming the pitch black rooms beyond his and ours are nothing he cares to venture into. Every time he wakes up- whether it be from his nap or his bedtime, he quietly walks to his door, peeks out into the hall, and looks for us. There is always an uneasy "Hi?" to see if he can get up yet or not. He did initially get up with Justin's alarm, but on the second day Justin told him to go back to bed. He has slept through every alarm since so far. He also woke up too early this past Sunday, but without even seeing me, my whispered instruction to go back to bed sent him quietly walking back out of our room and into his bed for another hour of sleep.  If you follow my Instagram feed or my Snapchat, you know that there have definitely been some humorous moments as well. Usually Justin's office is the one room we keep closed, but this weekend it was open. At some point, he did sneak across the hall and swipe a magazine during naptime. At least, we are assuming. It may have  already been in his room and I just missed it somewhere. Also, because I do not keep an eye on the camera the entire time, he has managed to sneak to his toy basket a few nights and grab his flashlight to take back to bed. Funniest thing EVER! He scared himself with it, and likely thought he was busted the first time he turned it on. With this fear, he actually leaned forward to cover it up the first night.  Justin and I have taken this big step one day at a time. We know at any second he could likely turn the tables on us and throw us a curveball. There is no going back though, so we have to make this work as far as we are concerned. The longer this goes on, the more he proves what we already know- he is ready for this and he can handle this responsibility...with our guidance. We could watch the camera every 10 seconds and we could be a tad more detail-oriented (ex. no flashlights in bed and no sneaking toys to bed). At the end of the day though, the things he takes to bed do not interfere with his sleep. He still knows he has to go to bed and stay in bed until Mommy and Daddy say. If that means playing with a flashlight for 5 minutes, or reading a book for 30 minutes, or rearranging his stuffed animals for 20 minutes, we'll take it. Whether he means to or not, he is settling down for the night and eventually going to sleep.  For now, our routine is a bit changed at night. Now, he helps settle his animals into bed. I adjust the covers while Justin changes his diaper. He crawls into bed and waits eagerly for his bible story. I sit on one side of the bed and Justin the other. We read him a short bible story, hand him his book for the night, say prayers, give him kisses, and leave the room. While we only meant to switch beds, we have actually found new time together as a family as well as begun a bedtime tradition I have been praying for for a long time.  To anyone about to venture into toddler beds or big kid beds, I would just say this: Remember that this is your baby. They need your help to tell them how to do this right, and your encouragement to teach them that they are capable of handling this very big step. Be as prepared as you can be. Be excited. Be patient. Also, don't worry when you realize you still have to be firm. It is all part of teaching them, and they (and you) will be so much happier when they take this big step and run with it like the amazing little person they are.