Just Thinking...

Over the years, I have on occasion heard my parents say that marrying each other had changed them. It baffled me because I did not understand. I could not understand how you were supposed to get to know someone and let them know you for the person you really are, fall in love, and get married...only to change afterwards. They never said it with remorse or bitterness. If anything, they made it sound like a good thing. They made it sound like they had changed for the better together.

I can smile now because I understand why they said it. I know what they meant. Now, I will say here, I by no means believe that I have changed as much as I ever will. I simply see that just as my life is growing, so must I.

From the very first morning that I woke up a wife, I felt a change in my heart. My life was no longer my own. I saw the man beside me as someone more than I had before. I saw him, truly saw him, as my protector, my advisor, my most trusted confidant- my husband. I realized how truly valuable my parents advice would be to not only me, but to us. If I wanted, really wanted, to be a good wife, I would recall every ounce of advice they had ever given me and I would put it into practice daily. I can never thank God enough for the man that He intended me for. I have been blessed with a good man. I want nothing more than to live my days in effort of becoming a good woman.

Something my mother taught me long ago is that a wife has many duties. She has many skills, many responsibilities, and an enormous amount of love and trust within her hold. In spite of what some may say, I do not believe that her title calls her to change her husband. For me, I believe that God has placed me in my post not to abuse the man He has intended me for, but to help him. A wife can know more about her husband than most. I know my husband's worries and I know his past fears. I have heard of his wants, and listened to his pains. I have seen him irritated, and I have seen him hurt. I have also seen him happy. I have seen when he is most confidant, and when he is most at ease.

I have no desire to change my husband. (Well, okay, I have gotten him to start wearing long sleeves in the winter, but that falls under "in sickness & in health".) I do not believe it is my job to change him, only to encourage all that is good in him. I believe that is a responsibility we owe to each other. When either of us need a dose of sense, we give it without reprimand. Whenever one of us is nervous, we do not mock, but encourage. Whenever we see a gift that belongs to the other, we know that is our job to encourage the other as often as needed with patience and love. No, my job as a wife is not about changing, but about helping.